I'm caring for someone
What should my parent sign now, while they still can?
Photo: Matthias Zomer / Pexels
Three documents: a healthcare power of attorney, a durable financial power of attorney and a living will. Your parent has to sign them while they can still make decisions. After that, state law or a court decides who speaks for them.
What to do
- Ask your parent who they want to speak for them if they cannot: one person for health decisions and one for money. It can be the same person.
- Get the forms. Many states offer free health care forms. For money, ask for a durable financial power of attorney, which stays valid if your parent can no longer decide.
- Sign them the way your state requires, often with witnesses or a notary, while your parent clearly understands them.
- Add a HIPAA release so doctors can talk to you now, and give copies to the doctor and the person named.
What to say
Dad, if you ever couldn't speak for yourself, who would you want making the decisions? Let's write that down so the hospital listens to the person you choose.
Frame it as your parent staying in charge, not as you taking over.
What to watch out for
This is a sensitive stepSmall details here can change the outcome, and some mistakes are hard to undo. We highly recommend a free 15-minute call with us before you decide.
Waiting until a stroke, a fall or a dementia diagnosis. Once your parent can no longer make decisions, they cannot sign. For money matters, the family may then have to ask a court to name a guardian or conservator.
Better done together
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The rule behind it
Each state has its own law on powers of attorney and advance directives, so the forms and signing rules differ. A healthcare power of attorney names who decides on care, a living will says what care your parent wants or does not want, and a durable financial power of attorney lets someone handle money and bills. Without these, state law picks who makes medical decisions, and a court may have to appoint someone for money. HIPAA, the federal privacy law, treats a healthcare agent like the patient when it comes to information.
Sources
- National Institute on Aging — Advance Directives for Health Care
- National Institute on Aging — Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist
- MedlinePlus — Advance care directives
- CFPB — What is a guardian of property?
- 45 CFR 164.502(g) — HIPAA personal representatives
Amanda Alcodia
Education, not medical, legal or insurance advice.
Useful next steps
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