Someone's in the hospital or seriously ill
Mom's being discharged and we're not ready. What can we do?
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Talk to the case manager and the doctor before the planned discharge day, and be specific about why going home isn't safe yet. Ask for an evaluation, and ask what would need to be in place for her to go home safely.
What to do
- Ask to meet the case manager and the doctor before the planned discharge day, not in the hallway on the way out.
- Name exactly what is missing at home: no one can be with her because family members work, children or pets in the house who can't be left alone with her, stairs, a new medication or a wound no one has been shown how to care for.
- Ask for an evaluation before she leaves: physical or occupational therapy to see what she can safely do on her own, and a check of her memory and thinking if she seems confused or not herself.
- Ask what can be arranged, such as home health visits, equipment or a short rehab stay, and ask for the plan in writing.
What to say
We want her home, but we don't feel it's safe yet. During the day no one can be with her because we both work, and there are young children and a dog in the house who can't be left alone with her.
Could she have a therapy evaluation, and a check of her memory and thinking, before she leaves? What would need to be in place for her to go home safely?
Use your own details. Say it calmly to the case manager and the doctor, as early as you can, and ask them to note your concerns in her file.
What to watch out for
This is a sensitive stepSmall details here can change the outcome, and some mistakes are hard to undo. We highly recommend a free 15-minute call with us before you decide.
Waiting until she is already being wheeled out. Once she has left, it is much harder to arrange an evaluation, help at home or a short rehab stay.
Better done together
We’re here to help
This happens more often than most families expect. When you are not ready, how you say it matters. Hospital staff are often under pressure to meet a discharge deadline, and “we're not ready” can be heard as worry rather than a request.
There are certain words that make a real difference here, and they need to be used carefully and at the right moment; used too often, or in the wrong way, they can work against you. So please call us first. We'll talk through your situation together and decide what is most appropriate, what to say and to whom.
Every situation is different, and these are sensitive moments, so we look at yours with care. We often see what others miss, and we never take commissions from insurance companies: the only thing we are working for is what is right for you.
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The rule behind it
Hospitals that take Medicare must include the patient and their caregivers as active partners in discharge planning. The hospital has to evaluate what services she is likely to need after she leaves and whether those services are actually available to her, and discuss the results with her or her representative. If she needs a nursing facility, rehab or home health agency, the hospital must tell you that you can choose among them and, when possible, respect her goals and preferences.
Sources
- 42 CFR 482.43 — Hospital discharge planning (Cornell LII)
- Medicare.gov — Your discharge planning checklist (PDF)
- The written discharge plan
Amanda Alcodia
Education, not medical, legal or insurance advice.
Useful next steps
Start with the free Kit. If your situation needs a person, the intro call is free too.