I'm caring for someone
Caring from far away: what should I do on my first visit?
Photo: Ron Lach / Pexels
Use your first visit to see the house, meet the doctor and set up the paperwork that lets you help from a distance. Leave with signed releases, a contact list and one local person who will call you.
What to do
- Walk through the home: food, medications, mail, bills, stairs, lighting and the car.
- Go to one doctor's visit together. Have your parent sign the office's HIPAA release, and ask about proxy access to the patient portal.
- If they aren't done yet, set up a healthcare power of attorney, a financial power of attorney and a living will.
- Line up one local person, a neighbor or friend, who has your number, and call the local Area Agency on Aging to learn what help exists nearby.
What to say
Mom, I'm far away, and I want to be able to help fast if something happens. Can we set up a few things this week so I can talk to your doctor and your bank if I ever need to?
Bring the forms with you. The visit is short, and ordering them later loses the momentum.
What to watch out for
This is a sensitive stepSmall details here can change the outcome, and some mistakes are hard to undo. We highly recommend a free 15-minute call with us before you decide.
Making the whole visit a holiday and leaving with nothing signed. The next call may come from an emergency room at night, where staff don't know who you are or what your parent wants.
Better done together
We’re here to help
Caring from a distance means making every visit count. We help you plan your first visit, what to see, who to meet and what to sign, so you can help from home with confidence.
Every situation is different, and these are sensitive moments, so we look at yours with care. We often see what others miss, and we never take commissions from insurance companies: the only thing we are working for is what is right for you.
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The rule behind it
HIPAA, the federal privacy law, lets doctors share with family involved in care when your parent agrees, and gives a healthcare agent the same rights as your parent, so a signed release or power of attorney makes helping from far away much easier. Powers of attorney follow state law and are best signed under the rules of your parent's state. The federal Eldercare Locator connects you to your parent's local Area Agency on Aging. A geriatric care manager, usually a nurse or social worker, can coordinate care locally; Medicare doesn't pay for this, so most families pay by the hour.
Sources
- 45 CFR 164.510(b) — HIPAA: sharing with family members involved in care
- Eldercare Locator (Administration for Community Living)
- National Institute on Aging — Services for Older Adults Living at Home (geriatric care managers)
- National Institute on Aging — Advance Directives for Health Care
- Your parent's signed HIPAA release and powers of attorney
Amanda Alcodia
Education, not medical, legal or insurance advice.
Useful next steps
Start with the free Kit. If your situation needs a person, the intro call is free too.